I love paint! I have always loved paint! Growing up, if Dad had a painting project, I was his girl. By the end of the day, Dad’s task would always be finished with pride. But, I was consistently left covered, from head to toe, in a rainbow of colors and probably wasted more paint than Dad would have liked. To this day, I end up having as much paint on me as I do on the canvas. Everything I do, I do with love and passion!
I have always been a creative person. Growing up, art and music were my go to therapists, along with my dog, Tiffany! When I look back over the years, I have come to the realization that I turned to art during life’s most difficult times. After my father passed 10 years ago to cancer, I was pulled to paint once again. I released layer upon layer of emotion on canvas, which was extremely therapeutic. It was a form of meditation for me. I would just let go of my emotions and let the paint tell the story. 3-4 hours later, I would find myself finished and exhausted emotionally.
I remember one painting in particular, from that emotional time period. When I was finished with my therapeutic release, I stepped back and looked at the dark and lifeless piece of art. (Sorry for the flash spot)
I felt much better on the inside, for I left my hurt on the canvas. The painting depicted my emotions at the time, but not me as a person. It lacked life, joy and passion. So, to this day, this intuitive and therapeutic piece of art resides upstairs in the barn. It’s better to have my emotions trapped on a canvas than inside me!
Last summer, I was pulled to paint something for Wifey. The thought of this was overwhelming. Life is good! I am happy! How do I paint that? I never have a plan when I paint, I just start applying paint to canvas and see where my emotions lead. The thought of having a plan was a whole new challenge. Granted, being in elementary educator for 22 years allowed me to paint/draw children’s illustrations, which did take a bit of planning. But, when I am serious and feel pulled emotionally to cover myself with paint, it is always with oils or acrylics.
I knew Wifey loved irises. We connected over splitting and dividing common irises in the beginning of our relationship. It would be the perfect subject to paint. I ventured to the second story of the barn and started creating. For some reason, I took step-by-step photos of this specific project. I had never taken photos of my paintings before. I can see now that I was definitely not in a meditative painting state.
Nothing went right. The shapes were off, the textures were basic and the colors were lacking depth. I was struggling. I finally stopped, put my palette knife and brush down and left the piece unfinished. I promised myself that I would not go back to the upstairs of the barn until the next day…
The next morning, I immediately went upstairs to the barn. Without a thought, I took my large palette knife and scraped all of the oil off the canvas. My painting felt forced. I sat down and reminded myself to relax and feel the emotion of joy, love and friendship. I let the paint tell the story. Painting happiness should not be that difficult. Within a few hours, I was finished. The remains of the original painting left a beautiful background…I had to leave it, for it was part of the story…
I’m not an artist like not Van Gogh or Monet and that is ok. I am my own artist, with my own style. That is the wonderful thing about art…there is no right or wrong, just different! Since I have been blogging, I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet a truly gifted artist, Doctor Kandinsky. His art is outstanding! I highly recommend you check out Doc’s blog:
On the next rainy day, when you can’t get outside, try something creative. Remember, just because it’s different, doesn’t mean its wrong!
Love Yourself…Embrace Yourself…Just Be You…